Have you all met Alex? He was in a story I wrote once but at the end, he walked out of it. I was confused. Why didn’t he like the way I planned for things to end? “It wasn’t my story babe,” he says with a patient sigh. “So you’ve said, but-” He yawns, bored with this conversation already. “No buts. That’s it. You know this, get over it.” That’s Alex. I’ve written about him before here and in a lot of other places too. He’s one of the voices in my head, an imaginary friend you might say. “I am not!” he gasps. “PrettyRead More →

Strange things are happening in my head. To be specific Alex is tied to a chair. So are Max and D. The thing is, they don’t have much to say right now, except Max who wants to get all up in Red’s cookie jar. But The Wolf is not a new age guy, he doesn’t believe that ‘sharing is caring’. So I had to tie Max up. Then D thought I was being unfair and that I should talk to The Wolf. So I had to tie that crazy bastard up to stop him going after The Wolf himself. Alex? Well Alex just looks goodRead More →

“Now that’s a kraken bounty!” “Nope, stop it now.” Alex sighed and looked up from the book he was reading. “What?” “You can’t do a punny post,” he said patiently. “Sure I can! Anyway, where’s your christmas spirit?” “What’s christmassy about a kraken bounty baby?” he asked with a shake of his head. It may have been despair or wonder. I was going with wonder. I grinned. “Well who do you think found the bounty? Sandy Claws!”Read More →

Alex is singing: “Something’s missing in my life, maybe it’s you.” “Maybe it’s chocolate,” I counter. He snorts, changes songs. “I ain’t missing you, no matter what my friends say.” “Your friends say you miss your hand th-” He went punk. “Don’t waste your time on me you’re already, the voice inside my head, I miss you miss you.” “And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain.” “Huh.” He frowned at me. “What?” “First rule.” He held up a finger and looked at me expectantly. I sighed then mumbled, “I don’t sing.” “Then I was thinking.” “Did you hurt yourself?” “Funny,” he saidRead More →

You know it should be criminal You make me feel so liminal Our love is so rhetorical Want to hear it metaphorical Or a simile so hysterical It really is a miracle Falling for you was like falling under a bus A smear on the pavement, left in your dust I staggered upright keen to go again This time it was like being hit by a train Alex: So the miracle here is that anyone is still reading, right? Me: (scowling) Go away Alex. Alex: (grinning) Hey baby?” Me: (sighs) What?” Alex: I’m occupying a liminal space right now you know Me: Really? Do tell.Read More →

(in response to the November Notes Writing Challenge  as hosted by A Reading Writer and Heartstring Eulogies.) “Everybody’s been broken, everybody’s been down Keep the floodgates open, let it all out, ’cause Every tear can put out a fire, every tear can put out a fire” “Cry me a river baby,” he whispered, his breath feathering against her ear and she sobbed once before she sucked in a breath and held it. “No?” He ran a finger down her cheek, lifted it to show her. “Here’s one. You owe me a lot more. The trouble you’ve caused me.” “Why are you doing this?” she gaspedRead More →

I think I might need to think about this for a while … Alex: That’s pretty lame, don’t you think? Me: Haha Alex: Seriously? That’s all you got? Me: I said I was thinking about it, you know? Let the thoughts brew, bubble around, like coffee does Alex: (frowns) Me: It’s a thing, coffee percolates. Alex: Baby your mind is a strange and scary place sometimes. Me: (yawns) My mind is tired, too much NaNo Alex: Go to bed Me: I thought you’d never askRead More →

“Here.” Alex shoved a stick at me “What’s this?” I looked at it curiously. “What’s it look like?” He said with a scowl. “Ah, a stick?” He sighed tiredly and shook his head. “No. It’s a bludgeon.” “Oh, right.” I looked again but it still looked like a stick. A big stick, but still a stick. “And what am I meant to do with this?” “We’re going to beat the ever loving fuck out of that.” He pointed his own stick, err bludgeon at … a zombie? Now that I’d seen it, I could hear it, and smell it. “That’s revolting,” I whispered as IRead More →

Continues from here “So baby, you thought about it?” “Alex,” I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. “Seriously?” “You said maybe,” he reminded me, his voice hopefully. “I made no promises,” I grumbled weakly and he grinned. I was giving in, we both knew it. “Fine. But I don’t want to hear about it, talk about it, just … do it,” I muttered with a scowl. “Baby seriously? Just do it?” He laughed. I waited ever so patiently for her to send her messages and tuck her cell away. Then I took her hand and pressed it against the wall beside her head.Read More →

“Another day of nothing?” “Yeah,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Sorry.” “Maybe I could?” He mimed typing at me. “I’ll be good, I promise.” I shrugged, “Why not …” “In or out?” It had taken fifteen minutes for the man mountain at the door to ask. I thought about it for another five. “I’m not sure yet,” I said at last. He gave me a long look. I wasn’t overly threatening only six foot to his six and a bit plus shitkickers and he had a good thirty pound of muscle on me. Size wise, it was like John Cena meets The Undertaker. IRead More →

“Alex!” I yelled glaring at him. “Aleeeeex!” “Fuck this,” D muttered and swiped at Alex. “What the fuck!” He pulled his headphones off and shoved D, who nearly fell of his chair. “Geez, would you guys quit it,” I said with a sigh and another glare. “What?” Alex gave me an innocent look. “You’re singing too loud fucker,” D said helpfully. “Well yes, but that too.” I pointed at D. “What the fuck did I do?” He said incredulously. “Swearing, cursing, whatever. There’s too much,” I muttered. “Like fuck there is,” Alex said with a sneer. “Who the fuck thinks that? And anyway, haven’t youRead More →

“Why are we even having this argument? All you’ve got is that half written rockstar thing that no one liked anyway,” Alex said curtly, his worried gaze on the writer. “I wouldn’t mind a little more zombie story,” D called out from the other room. “Seriously?” Max muttered. “You just want to see if you’re going to kill me, sell me or …” “Exactly. I want to know what the or is.” “Will you two shut up,” Alex yelled. “I guess I could …” her voice trailed off into a sigh. “What happened to just doing a meme babe?” “I couldn’t find a good one,”Read More →

Let’s be daring and write a thing With a bit of zap and a lot of zing “What the ever loving fu-” A puff of dust rose as another brick hit the ground. It could be short or it could be long Give it a tune, make it a song “Is she serious? That’s the worst fu-” A shove had a few more falling. Take a risk, do something bold Have an adventure before you get old “That is …. fucking …. stop.” A load crash interrupts everything. “Alex?” “Hey babe. What are you doing there?” “Ah, writing? You?” “A little renovating.” “You put aRead More →

“What the hell is this?” “That’s a wall Alex,” Max answered. “Thank you Captain Obvious,” D muttered from beside me. “She put up a fucking wall,” I said in disbelief. “Looks like you pissed her off pretty good with that last writing stunt,” Max called out cheerfully from where he was exploring further along. “This is … ” I shook my head. “Huge?” D offered as we stepped back and looked up and up. Yeah, good word. “A huge overreaction babe!” I yelled as I stepped forward and pounded a fist against the brickwork. “I found a hammer,” Max holds up a hammer. Not aRead More →

Life is pretty good right now. Kicking back, watching my baby dance. Love the way she shakes that ass, looks at me to make sure I’m watching as she tosses her hair. A little dirty grind, so graceful. so fucking hot. Biding my time, for the right song. So she can grind on me before I take her home, take off her clothes and have her grind some more. The DJ’s sticking to the fast numbers though, keeping the dance floor moving. I watch as an idiot in a blue button down tries to move with my girl, he can’t keep up and instead decidesRead More →

“Hey babe, close your eyes and pretend you’re a writer for a minute.” My incredulous look meets Alex’s earnest one. “Yeah I’ll do that.” My voice drips sarcasm. “Seriously. It’s a visualisation exercise, try it. For me,” he adds with a sweet smile. I sigh heavily, very put out but close my eyes. “Okay!” He’s so enthusiastic! “Now I want you to picture the computer before you, a blank page is filling up with text as you type. Got it?” “Sure,” I mutter. “Great. Now picture yourself typing these words; and they all lived happily ever after. The end.” My eyes pop open as IRead More →

So. Despite the … urgency of the word. You are just sitting, doing nothing? Did he not see my meme? It took time to find that cute puppy! Huh. You expect me to believe that was an effort? He wants to talk about effort? Yeah I do. You don’t want to? Babe? See how he likes being ignored! Hmmm. Pay back is you being a bitch is it? That’s okay. I can wait. Yeah you can. Don’t you want to know where I’ve been No. What I’ve been doing? No. What I’ve been thinking? Maybe … Can’t help but wonder what hoops I’m gonna haveRead More →

“Hey Writer! What the h-e-double hockey sticks!” D walked in yelling. “Hockey sticks?” Alex said with a snort, not looking up from his book. “Oh what the frou-frou,” D muttered, throwing himself into a chair beside Alex. “Frou-frou?” Alex chuckled and shook his head. I smirked. “For schzizzle,” D said with a sigh. “Oh stop,” Alex gasped, laughing in earnest now. “What the frou-frou did I do?” D asks a little desperately. Alex falls off his chair to roll around laughing while I ignore them both and D glares down at him. “Seriously man, a little help here?” He implores. “Oh geez,” Alex gasps asRead More →

D: So we’re perplexed today? Alex: (smirks) Yeah man, frown and look confused D: (frowns) You know what I find perplexing? Alex: (mumbles) Oh I can’t wait to hear this this little nugget of wisdom D: What? Alex: What? D: (mumbles) You’re a fucktard Alex: (glares at D) What? D: (glares back) You! What are you still doing here? Didn’t you have a story already? Alex: (scoffs) No D: (mutters) You did so Alex: (sighs) Listen Princess, you’re pretty new around here but I’m sure you’re not a total moron – D: Hey! Alex: What? I said not a total moron? Anyway, you’ll learn. SometimesRead More →

D: So what’s going on here? Alex: Not much right now D: Let me rephrase. What should be going on? Alex: (shrugs) Writing, musing, something like that D: And we just, what? Sit here and look pretty? Alex: (smirks) Sure thing pretty boy, go put your dress on D:  (grins) Jealousy is a curse Alex: Hmmm, curse. That could lead somewhere D: (snorts) Seriously? Like wicked witch curses the princess and the prince has to save the day? Alex: (shrugs) D: I doubt that will rake in a huge audience man, it’s been done to death Alex: (scowls) What’s your idea then? Actually, why areRead More →

the blank page mocks me no words in sight my muse still AWOL nothing to write I need a recharge creative infusion a plot device maybe confusion “You need to learn how to write poetry baby.” Ah, the return of the muse! “Do I?” I refuse to look at him, just stare at the screen. “Don’t you have anything else to say?” “You mean for you to write?” I can hear the smirk in his voice. I sigh loudly to let him know I’m not happy about his absence. We sit in silence …. for a while. “So where have you been?” I finally giveRead More →

“Hey baby they did a prompt for you!” Alex yelled. I glared at him, pointed at my ears. “Oh!” He pulled off his headphones. “Sorry,” he said with a grin. “How is it for me?” I wondered. “It’s nearly your birthday, so mention what kind of cake you want.” “Oh right, I guess I could.” “Yep, then go write something decent.” Alex put his headphones back on. “No more jokes and memes babe, write something,” he growled. Easy for him to say …Read More →

“What do you think they’re doing?” Alex looked out through a narrow gap in the boards across the window at the zombie-mob gathered on the sidewalk outside. “I what?” He turned to look at me with a glare. “You’re looking at the zombies. They seem to be working together, not exactly brain dead after all,” I explain. “No.” He shook his head. “No?” “I’m not in the zombie story,” he clarified. “Well, sure you are. I mean, I haven’t named names yet but it could be you,” I assured him. “It’s not,” he said with finality and another glare. “But Alex – ” “Send Blondie,”Read More →

Alex is singing again … So I look in your direction But you pay me no attention, do you I know you don’t listen to me ‘Cause you say you see straight through me, don’t you “It’s like it was written for us babe,” he says with a smirk. And on and on from the moment I wake To the moment I sleep I’ll be there by your side Just you try and stop me “That Coldplay guy, what’s his name?” “Chris Martin,” I say helpfully. “Yeah him. He knew how to write a song back in the day. Now, not so much.” “Really?” IRead More →

“Are you really fierce?” Alex looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Meh,” I shrugged. “I guess I could be.” “I’m looking it up … hmmm. You’re not hostile or violent. Intense though?” He gave me a considering look. “You can be intense. Like when I -” “When you wear eyeliner?” I interrupted with a scowl. “Now baby,” he chided, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. “No need to be mean.” He pulled my hair and I glared at him. “If you don’t like what I’m saying,” he continued with a smirk as I jerked away from his touch. “You know how toRead More →

“Alex?” I whispered. “Yeah babe?” He mumbled, still playing whatever game had him so enthralled earlier. “Where’s Blondie?” I whispered again and looked around. I hadn’t seen him for hours. “You’ve lost him again?” He looked up with a smirk. “I thought you were the expert writer?” “I never said I was an expert,” I protested. “Expert trouble maker,” he muttered, going back to his game. “What?” I threw my stress ball at him, whacking him in the shoulder. “You wrote him, your fault baby,” he said and yawned. “I gave him away though. He just wont … go!” “You wound me honey,” a deepRead More →

At the request of another blogger, this one’s for Asleep At The Wheel, a character designed for you … “Well this looks interesting.” I looked up and my mouth dropped open. But just a little bit. My teeth snapped together as I glared at the two, count them, two men sitting at the table with me. “Alex!” I snapped. “What babe?” He mumbled, not looking up from the handheld game he was playing. “I think you have company.” I narrowed my eyes at the other man as he winked at me then leaned over to see what Alex was playing. “Oh. Hey,” he looked upRead More →

“What do you want to do tonight Alex?” “Me?” He looked  over, surprise evident on his face. “Sure, why not,” I said with a shrug, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake. Alex stood up from where he’d been resting on the couch, a yawn cracking his jaw as he stretched. She’d said he could call after 10.30, was 10.34 too early? He killed a few minutes checking the doors were locked, then phone in hand collapsed back onto the couch. Scrolling through to her name took a moment and he couldn’t help but smile as he waited for her to answer. “Hey you.” Could sheRead More →

In case you missed it, Alex is back … What’s that I hear? A growl? No, a snarl. Oops! “What the actual fuck have you done!” He demands as he walks, no stomps, into the room. “Alex,” I say with a smile. “How’re things?” “Makeup! I have fucking makeup on?” In case I can’t see his perfectly applied eye liner he leans down, trapping me in my seat. “Well you’re acting like an emo princess, I thought you should look like one,” I cheerfully tell him. “You are … ” He shakes his head, lost for words. “I should …” “What Alex? Come on, there’sRead More →

Alex responds to the Daily Prompt Obvious I swear she’s trying to kill me. I look up as she walks in, all hot and sweaty from her run. “Come here you gorgeous thing,” I growl at her as I turn my chair. “Ugh, I’m all sweaty.” She pulls a face as she sits down to take her shoes off then tips her head back and takes a drink of water. Wait a minute! What’s going on here? Alex? He looks at me for a second then turns back to … her? I take her in, her face flushed and sweat gleaming on her skin andRead More →

The Daily Prompt is Learning “What are you going to teach me about today babe?” Alex looked over at The Writer who was clearly not paying him enough attention. “I think you already know everything Alex,” she mumbled without looking at him. “How about Iambic pentameter? Educate me baby,” he challenged. No response. Alex stood and cleared his throat until The Writer lifted her eyes, eyebrows arched in question. In a bad British accent he said, “But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.” “Very good Alex.” The Writer rolled her eyes and looked back atRead More →

The Daily Prompt is Jeopardize Another discussion with Alex … “Here be dragons!” “What?” “Well that would surely jeopardize the journey right?” “Jeopardise what journey? Bloody z or s spelling.” “Wasn’t that what you were thinking? Something about a journey, a crossroads, facing a fear.” “Mmm, something like that I guess.” “You’re too busy reading that blog though.” “Well, it’s about a trip, lots of jeopardy. Changing priorities, changing world views maybe … I don’t yet, there’s still a bit to go …” “What’s it called?”Read More →

For the Daily Prompt Eyes What colour are my eyes babe? “You don’t have eyes Alex,” I look over to find him laying on the couch, his eyes closed. Of course I do. What colour are they? “You’re not real, therefore no eyes,” I say with a sigh. “We’ve been over this.” Yeah ok, keep telling yourself that. I bet he’s smirking. “Fine. They’re – ” No, it’s okay. no need to pretend. I’m not real so it doesn’t matter. “Alex,” I begin apologetically. I’ve hurt his (my?) feelings. But, consider this; maybe you’re the one who’s not real. “I’m … what now?” Could beRead More →

The daily prompt Complicated “Sounds like they’re playing my song,” I don’t look up from the book I’m reading but I grin as I hear her sigh. “Come on babe, don’t pretend your not thinking about me.” “Yeah, yeah, you’re all sorts of complicated Alex,” she mutters but I don’t think she really means it. “Babe? How would you define our relationship?” I ask then I yawn. “What relationship? You’re Alex, you’re … not real.” She looks at me with a frown. “Are you?” I shrug and start singing … “Four o’clock in the morning The lights are on and I’m talk, talk Talking toRead More →

Another response to the Daily Prompt Maybe because Alex wont shut up! Maybe you should write something interesting babe. I cut my eyes to him, he’ sitting at the table shuffling cards? “I’m trying to,” I mutter and go on thumping the keys. More interesting then, he starts dealing the cards. “What are you doing?” I scowl as he pushes a hand towards me. I think you need some inspiration, maybe a game of ‘go fish’? “What exactly do you think I’m writing?”  I look at the cards then throw them down on the table. Hmmm … He peers over my shoulder. Strip poker then?Read More →

Today’s daily prompt Paint “I can’t draw to save myself.” What? “It’s a saying,” I explain. Well one, it has nothing to do with painting and two, it’s stupid. If someone said ‘draw a picture or your dead’, you’re gonna draw a picture “It wouldn’t be a good picture though.” Who cares, you’re alive, they, and who are they anyway? They have their shitty picture ‾\_( ”>)_/‾ “You make a good point Alex,” I sigh. So about that painting …? “Here’s one I like.”Read More →

Today’s Daily Prompt is Muse So I see the daily prompt pop into my reader and I know immediately it’s trouble. Hey baby, you talking about me? See? “Nope, we’re doing muse today. You know, to think about or consider something.” Or the other one, a source of inspiration. AKA me, Alex smirks “Or I could pick a Muse? Melpomene? Write something sad?” Just don’t put on Xanadu. A place where nobody dared to go “What’s wrong with Xanadu?” I interrupt his awesome rendition. What about the band? “Meh,” I shrug. A different Muse then? Erato? Write me a love poem “Hmmm,” I consider AlexRead More →

Today’s Daily Prompt: Dramatic (A dramatic song for your listening pleasure) “This is ridiculous,” I sigh as I let my head fall back against the couch. What is babe? Alex asks absently, still looking at the thesaurus “I can’t think of ANYTHING! My mind is a blank. I’m so useless!” Babe? Don’t you think you’re being just a little bit dramatic?Read More →

Today’s Daily Prompt Admire C’mon babe, think of something “Blah,” I don’t even look up. I admire your dedication to ignoring me “Haha,” I sigh. I can hear the smirk in Alex’s voice Look up the definition, some synonyms. Here we are, cherish, revere … hmmm He’s sprawled on the couch reading a thesaurus? Try and focus here babe, he says then yawns Say something about how you adore and worship me “Pfft,” I roll my eyes. “You’re such a treasure, I appreciate you so much.” Don’t forget respect and honour, he prompts ever so helpfully “You’re a real prize Alex, something to marvel at,”Read More →