I hate this moment.
I love this moment.
That’s a massive crowd. Where is she? I took a breath, rolled my shoulders and stepped to the edge of the stage. The lights that formed a border between us and them were blinding, I couldn’t see her.
Okay, focus on the equipment. Where’s the fucking lead … there you are fucker.
I wish she was here right now. What did she tell me to do? Meditate right? Breath deep, seek peace. Fuck. Breathing. Not helping.
The boys are on stage already, waiting for me to walk out there. Time to do it. I’d have to try harder to convince her to wait with me next time. Remind her of how relaxed I am right after we’ve fucked. Talk her into a quickie in the dressing room maybe. I smiled a little at the thought of how that conversation would go.
Once I got my hands on her, my mouth on her … I had a shot. With that very pleasant thought in mind I walked on stage. Hit my spot, played my chords and when the lights moved I saw her. Then I sung to her, our eyes locked for a moment then she grinned and shook her head.
There was no way she knew what I’d been thinking about. Was there? Before she could read too much in my eyes I turned away, went and had a drink and took off the jacket I didn’t need. Then it was time to finish the song, finish the show.
I let the music take me. Let the lights hide me. Let the screaming and applause build me up. Did she know every song was about her, for her. Every promise, every apology, I made to her. Every vow of love and devotion? All hers. By the end of the show I’d gone off the set list to sing her favourite song. Don’t know why it wasn’t on the fucking list since I did it every fucking time.
The boys were used to it, played along. Luckily our audience loved the song too. We played it out then drenched with sweat, grinning like maniacs we stumbled off stage. She found me eventually, where I’d collapsed in a chair with a drink. I grinned as she stopped before me, my world perfect.
“Great show,” she said softly, cupping my jaw as she brushed a kiss against my lips.
I’m tired but I’m not that tired so I fist my hand in her hair and kiss her properly. She’s breathless when I let her go to say, “Thanks baby, couldn’t have done it without you.”