My Hero

My Hero

This weeks Discover Challenge features a picture of Superman, the ultimate superhero. The challenge invites us to (among other things) write a superhero story or maybe invent a totally new superhero.

For me, when I think superhero I think comics. I didn’t grow up reading superhero comics, my short-lived relationship with comics took place in my early twenties. It was one of those things most girls will understand, the guy who worked at the comic shop was HOT. So I bought comics from him. No, wait. There’s more to the story, something about superheros right?

One of my best friends was really into comics (still is twenty years later), and she introduced me to comics. She was into X-men and I enjoyed them too, have gone on to enjoy the movies now, but there are a lot of X-men comics. A lot. So I decided they weren’t for me. I have previously admitted to having an addictive personality so I know that if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I’d want to own every comic, my search would be never ending. So as much as I loved Remy LeBeau, I had to leave him in the racks. I turned my attention to a couple of new comics, Wild.C.A.T.s and Wetworks.

My friend and I, being young and with limited resources, decided she would collect WildC.A.T.s and I would collect Wetworks. Life was good until I realised a couple of things. First, the comic shop guy wasn’t my type. Sure he was cute and funny but just, not my type. More importantly, comics never end. Well some do, they get cancelled/discontinued, whatever, and that did happen to Wetworks (and possibly WildC.A.T.s). But at the time, at the start of their run, it seemed to me, they would never end. I would never know if Grifter and Zealot ever live happily ever after. What about Grail and Mother One? The never-ending quest to save/rescue/destroy was exhausting. The cliff hanger endings? Give me closure already!

So I stopped buying the comics because that’s how I roll, cold turkey is the only way to quit! What my brief flirtation with comics gave me though, was an insight into the sort of superhero I wanted. If he couldn’t sling a good one liner while saving the day forget it! He needed to have a bit of a dark past, some kind of trauma that made him reckless and edgy. Did I mention tough? The characters I gravitated to weren’t superhuman and indestructible like Superman, I liked to see them take a beating and come back fighting. Preferably while saying something sarcastic.

My superhero order (sung roughly to the tune of ‘The Perfect Nanny’ from Mary Poppins):

Wanted a superhero for one devilish woman

If you want this choice position
Have a snarky disposition
Six pack abs, dirty thoughts
Play games, all sorts

You must be moody, you must be witty
Very hot and not too pretty
Take me dancing, give me treats
Bring chocolate and sweets

Please be tough and cruel
Please win every fight or duel

Come home bloody from slaughter
Let me wash you down with soapy water

If you can hold and dominate me
You will always have a willing slave in me
I’ll blindfold you sometimes, so you can’t see
And when I use handcuffs, I wont lose the key

Hurry hero, come soon
I’m waiting in my room

grifter_by_grifdaddy
Image credit http://grifdaddy.deviantart.com

4 Comments

    1. Author

      they are! Did you have a favourite?

  1. Superhero: “Hi honey, I’m home.”
    You (I take it): “Straight to the bathtub mister. No getting blood on the carpet.”

    Is that about right? You gotta pitch that idea.

    1. Author

      Haha, get out of my head!

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