One Too Many

One Too Many

Don’t want to leave you in the lurch but I’m not getting in the zombie story, sorry. Instead, I’m going to leave for a while, but before I go, I’ll leave you some tips. So Princess, here’s everything you need to know about dealing with zombies.

First, never assume they are dead until you have chopped their head off. No, scratch that. Never assume they are dead until you have chopped their head off and stomped on it. If there’s still an intact brain they’re not dead. Got it?

Second, these fuckers are smarter than you think they are. We’ve seen them organising, planning. DO NOT think a locked door will stop them, not any more. Barricade, barricade, barricade. Or climb. They can’t climb so seek the high ground.

Third, stay fit. You need to be strong enough to swing a bat but more importantly, fast enough to outrun them. Does endurance have other benefits? Sure but we’re not talking about that, just take a moment to think about it …

Fourth, resources. They will be scarce, scavenge well, and scavenge often. Food, water and ammo should be your priorities. Not shoes.

Fifth, plan and plan again. Any time you go out, have a plan, then have a back-up plan. Then have a back-up to the back-up plan. Same goes for safe places. Think of them like chocolate, you can never have enough.

Sixth, have a team. Your odds of survival will be better, especially if you’re not the slowest runner, haha! Too many people will draw attention. Five is good, so you can never be at a stalemate plus you’ll all fit in one car.

Okay, I think that’s it for now. I hope you survive the apocalypse and if you do I’m sure I’ll see you again.

D.

5 Comments

  1. “Never assume they’re dead..” Great advice for ANY fight! šŸ˜‰

    My drill sergeant taught me that one the hard way, and by hard I mean with the blunt end of a pugil stick during combat training. My head will never be the same.

    1. Author

      Haha, thanks! I learned it from watching too many zombie shows.
      I bet you loved your drill sergeant after that!

      1. Saved my life a time or ten, but damn it hurt… think of the monkey in the Lion King hitting Simba repeatedly over the head!! LOL!!

        1. Author

          Some of the best lessons we learn are the most painful!

          1. The pain is what HELPS you retain the lessons learned. ‘We sweat in peace, so we don’t bleed in war.’

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