Today’s Daily Prompt Complicated
“Can we get Oreos?”
“Of course darling,” I looked into my baby’s blue eyes, the only thing she’d gotten from her father, and smiled. Apart from her eyes, she was a mini me, same dark hair and olive toned skin, same bone structure. Nothing like my ex with his blonde hair and pale skin.
“Strawberry please,” she gave me her gap toothed smile as I picked up two packages of cookies. We carried on shopping, bread, milk, yoghurt, fresh fruit and vegetables filled out trolley then we headed for the register.
Groceries bagged I pushed the trolley with my precious cargo through the mall. If I glanced at the coffee shop on the way, well who knew besides me? Who would care if I was looking for a set of broad shoulders, piercing green eyes?
“Let’s get coffee!” I shook my head at my enabler, only 4 years old and already knew my weaknesses. Her and coffee. And green eyes, a little voice whispered.
“Not today baby.” I hadn’t been back for a coffee since the day I’d run out of there, leaving him sitting there stunned. I wasn’t worried about seeing him there, he’d told me it wasn’t his regular coffee shop after all. I just didn’t want to revisit the scene of my humiliation.
Didn’t want to look at that table and remember how pathetic I’d been, sitting there pretending I was a bold and confident woman. One who could flirt and engage a man like him in conversation. When my reality was the busy life of a mostly single parent. I rushed between work and day-care, my priority the toddler currently smiling at me from her seat in the trolley.
For a moment, as I’d stared into his green eyes, I’d seen my life through his. A woman with commitments and priorities that may not include him. A woman with a child, a complicated life. Maybe he wouldn’t have seen it that way but it wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. My life wasn’t mine alone to share any more.
“Can we go to the park?”
“Of course darling.”