Today’s Daily Prompt: Autonomy
“I can’t do this alone,” Skye spoke aloud as she paced. She couldn’t sleep, had tried sitting and meditating but she couldn’t settle. She was restless, unsettled, had that feeling of expectation.
Something or someone was waiting for her, she could feel it but she couldn’t reach them. Reach Him. Six months ago she’d had the first encounter with him. She wouldn’t call it a dream, it had been while she was in that in-between state, not asleep but not awake. He had said two words, “Hear me.” And she had. So much so she’d searched her room for anything to explain the voice. Every night for a week, the same two words, sleep had become a distant memory.
Finally, exhausted and grumpy she had replied. “I hear you. Now shut up so I can get some sleep.”
“Sorry,” his reply had sounded amused but she’d been so tired she’d just sighed and fallen asleep.
The next night he had said, “Find me.”
“Oh come on,” her eyes had snapped open before she had the chance to reply.
The following night she had her answer ready.
“Find me,” his voice whispered to her.
“Where are you,” she murmured drowsily.
She shivered, as if he had whispered in her ear, his breath a light caress. “Okay,” a whisper before she fell asleep again.
The next day she’d started to pack her belongings. The day after she’d given her landlord notice. Where was she going? Away, was the only answer she had. A week later she got the answer when she turned left out of town. Every junction, she seemed to know which way to go. She stopped mid afternoon, checked into a motel, spent some time working, ate, slept, and drove again.
On the fourth day she woke up without the urge to go.
“What the hell am I doing,” she muttered as she paced the motel room. She flicked on her laptop, checked her email, did some work. Still, no urge to go. Anywhere. She flinched when her phone rang.
“Yes?” she answered abruptly.
“Skye, where are you?” Gem’s voice was impatient as usual. Her boss was always in a hurry. “I’m at your place and you’re not here.”
“I’m working remotely,” Skye answered quickly, not adding anything about her location.
“Well obviously. When will you be back?”
“Is there a problem?” she matched Gem’s impatient tone.
“Look, I know you like a certain amount of autonomy and you’re our best programmer so we allow it but we do like to see your face from time to time,” Gem’s tone turned cajoling.
“So there’s no problem with my work then,” Skye challenged.
“No but – ”
“I’m quite busy Gem, if that’s all?” she interrupted.
“Fine. We’ll see you soon though,” it was a demand, not a question.
“Sure thing,” Skye hung up quickly and got back to work.
Three days later the urge came again. Two days after that it was gone. So it had gone for nearly four months, stopping and starting as she travelled across the country. Then the urge to stay. So she’d rented this cabin and waited.
The encounters had changed then, from his voice urging her to find him, follow the feeling, to actually feeling. Or so it seemed. No, she knew she’d touched his hair, his skin. It was just … times like now, when she hadn’t heard or felt anything for days, doubt crept in. Was she going crazy? Was the voice only in her head?
“Please,” she whispered as she sat on the bed, her head cradled in her hands. “I need you to tell me what to do now. I really can’t do this alone.”